


lost cause

by mirohknj (knj_enthusiast)



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:36:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25789708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knj_enthusiast/pseuds/mirohknj
Summary: soulmates are connected through each other's pain until they meet, which is when all the pain they faced prior to meeting lift off their shoulders.when hueningkai gets into a freak car accident, it causes him to not only lose his memory, but also make his soulmate bond with his best friend taehyun extremely fragile. taehyun only has one shot at recovering that bond, even if they both tried denying it for a full year.
Relationships: Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun
Kudos: 16





	lost cause

"So, we both agree that neither of us wants the romantic implications of us being soulmates messing up our friendship, right?"  
"Absolutely. From this day forward, we will pretend our soulmate bond never existed."

That's the promise Taehyun and Hueningkai made exactly a year ago. Before Taehyun could even fathom the idea of him and their friends all crowded around a hospital bed, staring down at Hueningkai's unconscious, bandaged body.

It was a strange procession of events the year before, for Taehyun and Hueningkai both. They had been best friends since they started attending the same middle school, and they had a great friend group who stuck with them till high school - Beomgyu, a junior, and Soobin and Yeonjun, both almost graduates - and everything had been going well up until that point. Frankly, both boys could've remained totally oblivious for the rest of time. But then the topic of soulmates came up eventually; everyone talked about it at some point or another.  
The boys had decided to meet up one night to stargaze on a grassy hill in the neighbourhood they lived in. They lay on a checkered blanket, looking up at the glittering night sky and talking about everything and anything that came to their heads. Neither of them would've admitted this out loud, but Taehyun and Kai enjoyed each other's more intimate company, away from everything else in their lives. They were just your average high school best friend pair, living out their academic life as best as they could. Up until that point, their story had never really been something to write home about.

The conversation died down and made way for a few minutes of peaceful and comfortable silence. The last few minutes of peaceful and comfortable Taehyun would experience for a while.  
Kai coughed and sat up. "Hey, Hyun? I have a question."  
Taehyun looked up at Kai, who was now staring off into the distance. He might've been watching the late night traffic, Taehyun wasn't sure. "Ask away, is something bothering you?"  
He noticed Kai fiddling with the strings on his hoodie. "Well... it's something I've thought about for a while, because it didn't quite make sense to me. You believe in soulmates, right?"  
Taehyun arched an eyebrow at the question. "Uh, yeah. This is the first time I've heard you bring it up though, what about soulmates?"  
"Do you think you've met yours?"

That question made Taehyun think a little harder. "Well... correct me if I'm wrong, but soulmates are connected through each other's pain till they meet, right? And then their pain melts away when they meet or something like that?"  
Kai nodded. "Yep. When was the last time you got a random jolt of pain?"  
Taehyun frowned and sat up. "Now that I'm actually thinking about it, I haven't experienced one since just before middle school. I don't recall ever having felt the random jolts melt away when I met anyone either..."

Kai shifted and faced the moon. Taehyun noticed his lips moving soundlessly, as though he were uttering a silent prayer. He could barely make out the words: 'please, God, don't let this happen to me.'  
It took a minute or so of silence before Kai spoke again. "Do you... happen to remember what your last jolt of pain was?"  
"Maybe if I thought about it hard enough-"  
"Was it perhaps a kick to the shin?"  
Taehyun stared. "Yeah... I think that was it, like being kicked in the shin with the heel of a shoe... how did you guess?"  
But Kai still wasn't done talking. It almost felt like he was trying to confirm something with himself. "Before you came to middle school, did you ever feel a dull thud to the back of your head? A dozen jabs to your fingertips at a certain time of day? Karate chops to the back of your neck?"

Taehyun's jaw was hanging slack. For each type of pain Kai described, he realised he had experienced all of them. "I- yes, but- Kai, what the hell-"  
He abruptly stopped talking when he saw Kai's face, which was illuminated by the moonlight - he was crying. "Damn. I knew it. Those were all me, Hyun. In grade school, I had a football kicked at the back of my head. I constantly messed up with using my compass. The karate chops were from my sister."

Taehyun had no idea what to make of anything Kai had just told him, but to make sure... "Okay, wait. You questioned me about my jolts of pain, let me ask about yours to confirm... did you ever feel a kick in your left side?"  
Kai nodded.  
"A slap in the face with a rubber glove?"  
He nodded again.  
"...falling down a flight of stairs?"  
"THAT'S what it was? I was wondering why my body suddenly started flailing in the middle of doing my homework."

Both boys laughed, and for a few seconds, all seemed normal again. But when the laughter subsided and they looked each other in the eyes again, they knew they'd stumbled upon an unknown treasure... or a curse, for how each of them saw it. They were soulmates and never realised it. What a strange world.  
Kai wiped his tears away. "I'm sorry for crying over something like this... this is normally one of the happiest days in a person's life. But honestly, I don't know."  
Taehyun found himself facing Kai's back. "How long have you been aware of this? Did you notice the pain melting away?"  
Kai nodded. "I wasn't sure if you'd noticed anything so I thought I might've been in the wrong for a little while. I suppressed the idea because you're one of my best friends, Taehyun. And considering there are a lot of romantic implications for soulmates, I didn't want to lose you. But when I realised I wasn't feeling those random jolts of pain anymore, and I knew I'd stumbled into this mess unknowingly."  
He paused. "Well, not unknowingly... it was just a really severe case of denial... but you get my point."

Taehyun really wasn't sure what to say. He was at a total loss for words. He cared for Hueningkai a lot because they'd helped each other through middle school and part of high school. But he wasn't sure if they were ready for the romantic implications that often came with being soulmates either.  
After a short pause, he spoke. "So... what do you propose we do about this? After all, we can't clinically get rid of this bond..."  
Kai's eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Well, we've only just realised our bond... surely it's not too late to try and suppress it?"  
"Have people actually TRIED suppressing their bonds before? Finding your soulmate is usually a positive thing, after all. I feel like something will go wrong..."  
"If they haven't then I guess we'll be the first. That is if you're on board with it?"

A short, uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah. I'm on board."  
'Not like you gave me much choice with that reaction.'

The two boys stood up and faced each other. Taehyun could make out every detail of Kai's face in the dim moonlight - the tear tracks going down his cheeks, his puffy eyes, his pretty fluffy hair similar to a cherub - wait, what was that last bit about?  
Taehyun coughed before speaking. "So, we both agree that neither of us wants the romantic implications of us being soulmates messing up our friendship, right?"  
"Absolutely. From this day forward, we will pretend our soulmate bond never existed."

And that was that. The way Kai said that last part with such conviction, such determination, Taehyun felt compelled to believe it.  
Yet, some part of him in the pit of his stomach twisted into an uneasy knot. He was glad that Kai couldn't feel that anymore.  
At least, Kai not feeling it was what he hoped for.

Life went on as normal after that night - or, well, as normal as things could've been with both Taehyun and Hueningkai making a conscious effort to ignore their connection as soulmates. They realised something was going wrong within the first two months, and that was because the pain was back; and somehow, it was more intense.  
What the boys didn't realise was that by trying to forget their bond, their connection became more intense, meaning to bring them together and acknowledge it eventually. After all, no one can live with constant random jabs of pain forever, right?  
But they were so determined to keep their promise so their friendship would never get ruined, that even through the constant and continuous accidents both boys seemed to have in abundance since that night, they kept absolutely quiet about it. The only people they had told were their friends, but they were on the fence about their way of dealing with it.

"Are you guys absolutely sure about this?" Beomgyu chewed his bottom lip, looking back and forth at Taehyun and Kai, who sat opposite to each other in the school library. "Yeah, what is there to be unsure about?" Taehyun attempted to laugh nonchalantly, then winced as Yeonjun reached over and gently pinched Kai's cheeks. "Yeonjun, don't. You're making him uncomfortable." Kai swatted his hands away. "Listen, I just had to confirm. I hardly pinched you and Taehyun acted like he was just jolted." Yeonjun leaned back in his chair, staring at the two boys. "You guys are trying so hard to push the bond down that even the pain connection is trying to get you to stop. Do you honestly not see the problem here?"

They shook their heads, and Yeonjun sighed. "Look, I can understand not wanting to ruin your friendship with the common romantic shit that comes with being soulmates. That's all well and good. But if this pain keeps going on, you're both gonna keep suffering."  
"Yeonjun is right. We care about you two and don't want to see either of you in pain. How long do you plan to keep doing this?" Soobin drummed his fingers across the tabletop nervously. "You guys might be some kind of really rare, or maybe even first time, case of soulmates suffering through their bond despite knowing it's there."

"Oh, shut up. We'll do just fine, right, Hyuka?" Taehyun snapped at their friends and turned to face Kai, who looked up from the table for a split second of eye contact. Despite how brief it was, Taehyun could read Kai's eyes.  
'Please, can we go?'  
"Yeah. We'll be fine." Kai mumbled, standing up and pushing his chair forward. "I think it's about time we get going, I have something to work on. You coming, Taehyun?"  
Taehyun stumbled a little as he hurried to stand up. He gave their friends one last apologetic glance, and the two left the library.

Beomgyu sighed. "I hope they'll be okay. I have a really bad feeling about all this."  
Yeonjun and Soobin nodded in agreement, but at that point, there was nothing they could do.

It was an awkward bike ride back to their neighbourhood. The silence between them was unsettling, and it wasn't till they stopped at Kai's house that they finally spoke again.  
Kai pulled his helmet off and parked his bike next to the front porch. "Taehyun?"  
"Yes?"  
"How long CAN we keep this up? With the number of accidents we've been having, something bad might actually happen to us."  
"Look, neither of us saw this coming. We were the ones who decided this to begin with. We just have to find ways to cope."

Neither Kai or Taehyun were expecting that sharp tone, and Kai looked vaguely hurt. "Well, I agree... but... oh, whatever. I'll talk to you later."  
Taehyun felt a sudden pain wrenching at his heart. "Hyuka, wait-"  
But he had already gone and run into his house, slamming the front door behind him.  
Yep. That was a fuckup if Taehyun had ever seen one. He wasn't even sure if the pain he felt was his own, or Kai's.

And that basically set off the tone for the rest of the year. Being increasingly awkward trying to avoid each other and avoiding having accidents so as not to hurt the other. They kept trying to convince themselves it was better for them and that their friendship was better off this way, but they really were suffering as much as their friends said they would, though neither of them could outright admit it to themselves or each other. Only the brief moments of eye contact they had while meeting or during class did they ever give any external hint that they were struggling. And yet, they made it to a full year after all those struggles.  
If either of them thought it would be worth it by that point, they were going to be proven miserably wrong.

It was a normal night at Taehyun's place. He was hanging out with Beomgyu - he would've liked Kai to come over too, but a dry text from him told him that Kai would be going out for a drive with his dad. Well, it's not like the atmosphere between them changed, anyway. The rainy weather that night felt quite fitting for his mood.

"Taehyun, come ON. You and Kai have been really feeling this decision you made last year and it's badly affecting how you guys act. You need to draw a line now." Beomgyu was practically begging on his knees, but all Taehyun did was sigh and look out the window. Some kids in the area had decorated the trees lining the road in fairy lights, but despite how pretty the scene was, with the rain and the sparkling lights, Taehyun wasn't focusing on that. All he focused on was not making eye contact with Beomgyu.  
"Beomgyu, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. Kai and I are still sure about suppressing the bond, we've put up with the pain so far. What's to stop it from going further?"

Beomgyu grasped Taehyun's hands in desperation. "Do you hear yourself? You guys are claiming to protect your friendship like this while putting up increasingly intense jolts of each other's pain, but all you've gained from it so far is a year's worth of suffering and an awkward atmosphere every time you're around each other. How much are you actually protecting your friendship? Or is the thought of romance starting to get to your heads now, and you're desperate to ignore it?"  
It was like a punch to the face. Beomgyu had somehow managed to word everything that had been going through Taehyun's head for months. It was the constant question of whether or not his motives with repressing the soulmate bond had changed over the course of a year. The thought coming from Beomgyu rattled him way harder than Taehyun anticipated.

Wait.

It was a thought. Why was he physically being rattled?

"Taehyun? TAEHYUN!" Beomgyu backed away and scrambled to his feet in a panic as Taehyun stared down at himself in horror, not being able to control his body spasming in all directions. It almost felt like he was in a washing machine, or some kind of crazy theme park ride. He felt himself being thrown around, feeling sharp jabs in his stomach, his back, the back of his head.  
After a minute - or an hour, Taehyun couldn't tell - of feeling like a sack of wet cement being tossed around, it all ended with a sharp blow to Taehyun's head, and it all stopped. Beomgyu watched in stiff and silent fear as Taehyun raised his head and groaned, "Hyuka... something's happened to him..." and passed out.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit." Beomgyu was panicking as he pulled out his cell phone to call Kai's number. As expected, no response.  
He gently removed Taehyun's phone from his pocket, whispering an apology into his ear, and called one of Kai's sisters from Taehyun's number.  
"...hello? Bahiyyih?"  
"Who is this? Taehyun?"  
"No, this is his friend Beomgyu. I'm really sorry for this sudden call, but... can I ask where your brother is?"

Momentary silence.

"...Hueningkai? He's out with our dad for a drive, why do you ask?"  
"We think something bad happened to him. Taehyun... he's Kai's soulmate and they tried repressing their bond... and he just experienced some really bad jolts of pain. Like, worse than he's experienced in months."

More silence.

Beomgyu heard what he thought was a choked sob. He felt terrible, but he had no other way of knowing Kai's state. "Bahi, I know this is really sudden and scary. But please, try and get back to me soon about your brother. For Taehyun and I. Can you do that?"  
"Y-yes. I'll get back to you soon. Thank you, Beomgyu."  
She hung up the call, and now all Beomgyu could do was call Soobin and Yeonjun to help him take care of the unconscious Taehyun till Bahiyyih could call him back.  
Thankfully, Soobin and Yeonjun turned up fairly quickly. "Good lord, he's well and truly knocked out." Yeonjun hoisted one of Taehyun's arms over his shoulders, and Soobin did the same with his other arm. "We'll get him to his bed and make sure he's okay. You just have to hold onto his phone and wait for Kai's sister to call back."  
Beomgyu nodded. watching Soobin and Yeonjun carry Taehyun to his bedroom. After that, it was a lot of tense waiting.

It was around 2 hours later that Taehyun finally came to, and his attempt to sit up was restrained by Soobin and Yeonjun hovering above him. "Woah there, Hyun. You've been knocked out for 2 hours, you need time to rest." Soobin's voice sounded hazy as Taehyun was pushed back down.  
Taehyun tried to struggle but was too weak to move much. "Mmm... but Hyuka... let me up, dammit..."  
Yeonjun shushed him. "We know you're worried, we are too. But we're just waiting on a call from his sister, Beomgyu has-"

Beomgyu chose that exact moment to barge into the room, his eyes shining with tears. "Guys... Kai and his dad got into a car accident... car spun off a bridge and tumbled into a chasm. His dad is just scratched up, but Hyuka... he's unconscious. They're both at the public hospital in town."  
The four boys looked around at each other, and all eyes turned to Taehyun, who had already struggled out of bed and was getting a jacket out of his closet. "I don't care how weak I feel. I don't care about the atmosphere anymore. I need to see Hueningkai."

An excruciatingly long drive into down later - seriously, why were roads crowded even at 1 in the morning? - the four boys found themselves waiting outside Kai's room. The hospital was freezing, so Taehyun was glad he managed to pull on a jacket before leaving. Kai's father insisted that he felt well enough to talk to the boys, though it was unsettling seeing all the bandages on his arms.  
He cleared his throat. "So, Taehyun... this soulmate business that Bahi told me... is it true?"  
Taehyun could only nod. No point in trying to cover anything up now.  
"It was a brave decision to decide to bear all that pain to keep your friendship with Kai the same. Do you think anything changed?"  
Taehyun was about to shake his head, but something made him pause. Yes, things had technically changed, but not in the way that he and Kai were trying to avoid. Still, it was a change nonetheless.

Before Taehyun could open his mouth to elaborate, a doctor came out of Kai's room. "I can see that you're all eager to see the boy's state. He's stable and we managed to talk to him for a short while, but he's asleep. I recommend staying as quiet as possible."  
The four boys plus Kai's father silently shuffled into the room, and Taehyun breathed out a huge sigh of relief. There he was, his best friend, still alive despite the tumble he took. The rest of the party smiled, but the smiles soon faded when their eyes drifted to the bandage covering most of the top of Kai's head.  
A moment later the doctor came in with a clipboard. "As you can see, he's miraculously alive. But there are two problems I think we ought to talk about while you're all here."

They all shuffled out of the room, Taehyun shooting one last glance as Kai just as he was closing the door, and sat outside once more, looking up and the doctor who was reading notes off his clipboard.  
"For one thing, the boy hit his head quite hard just before the car stopped rolling. It was not a hard enough impact for him to lose his speaking ability or anything of that sort, but I'm very sorry to say... he may have amnesia."  
Taehyun's heart clenched in his chest as he raised his hand. "Woah, hold on. Amnesia? As in, if I were to go in there, he would have no idea who I am?"  
The doctor slowly took off his glasses. He was an old man, with balding patches in his wiry grey hair, and his eyes were full of what Taehyun would've described as years of sage wisdom. "You. Are you the soulmate the boy's father told me about?"  
Taehyun nodded. "That's me."

His heart further clenched as the doctor sighed and gave him a look full of sorrow. "I've done clinical studies on soulmates, my boy. This is a rare case, but if one soulmate forgets the bond they have with the other, there is a chance of not only their pain receptors to weaken greatly, it may even cause the connection to weaken enough to break with their original soulmate. You could very well lose the sense that being soulmates gave you for you to tell that this boy was in danger to begin with."

No. No, no, no, no, no.


End file.
